Aware
by Bluecookie300
Summary: A fem!harry potter soulmate au. A closer look at the mentality an earlier awareness of her fate would have created, and the inherent wrongness of Dumbledore raising her as a pig for slaughter. The introduction of a soulmate and some au!wizarding culture providing the backdrop for true growth and healing.


It was during her first encounter with Voldemort, that Haley became aware of the chunk of his soul in her head. It had been awoken and brought to the forefront of her mind during the encounter, deep bellow the school. She assumed it probably had something to do with the close proximity of Quirrelmort; that the ensuing scuffle and contact had somehow summoned it from the deep recesses of her mind.

She didnt't actually have all that much time to focus on it considering. She was after all kind of busy trying not to be strangled to death. She had only really just become aware of the familiarly slimy voice in the back of her head.

It wasn't until much later, during the utter loneliness of a summer at the dursleys, completely forgotten by her new friends, that she had time to really consider what the voice had been.

Despite the impression she had given Ron, and subsequently the rest of the school, she shared much of Hermione's excitement and awe over magic and it's eccentricities. She probably knew more than she really should all things considered.

Haley didn't know enough during that first summer of course, to understand how truly dark the magic of soul splitting was. She only knew enough, if from deduction rather than true knowledge, to understand that the piece of voldemorts soul in her head had likely something to do with his souls continued survival.

By the end of her second year, Haley had securely confirmed her suspicions. The events surrounding her escapades in the chamber of secrets had only confirmed the owner of the soul piece in her head, and that Dumbledore was definitely aware of her condition.

His reaction to her tale of tom riddle, and the vagueness of his subsequent advice signified not only his deep mistrust of her, but his true understanding of the significance of the events in the chamber of secrets. It confirmed to her that, one day, maybe not soon, but not so far off, neither of them would be able to justify to themselves her continued survival. Especially at the expense of all those Voldemort endangered.

It was during her second summer break that she came to terms with her own slowly impending demise. Maybe not a healthy thought for a just turned thirteen year old, but no less avoidable than the slow march of time.

She felt no anger or disappointment at having had the short stick drawn for her in life. She probably should have, but indifference was predictable the result of having not expected much of life in the first place. Since the discovery of hogwarts, magic, and all things wonderful in her world, she had really only been waiting for metaphorical sword to drop. It had all been simply too good to be true for one Haley Anne Potter.

Life was especially bittersweet in third year for Haley Potter. Voldemort had not made an appearance in July, to remind her of her particularly short lifespan. Her godfather had instead made his first appearance. Haley would get to have at least one person in her life that she would be able to truly call family. She would have at least one person in her life to love her unconditionally.

But ultimately she would never be very close with him, would never have a normal home life with him. Sirius Black was on the run, a wanted criminal. He would never truly be able to give her a loving home, never be able to play the role of loving father figure. Maybe it was for the best, it could never have been permanent anyway, her life would be so short, and if they weren't as close as they might have been, it might only end up saving him some hurt. Bittersweet was the summer before fourth year, with the realisation of her true loneliness.

It was as she watched Ron cheer with excitement, as the Quidditch World Cup whirled before them, that she began to regret what she would miss. It was as she watched Hermione watch Ron, with that twinkle of things to come in her eye, that she regretted that she would not be around longer.

Mostly though, it was as she exited Gringots with her new husband that she regretted all that couldn't be


End file.
